the grass is greener on the other side

It happened right in front of my eyes. We were talking about his wisdom tooth removal, the pain, the swelling, etc. He then walked into his office and came out with a stack of red and golden colored envelopes in his hands. He handed the ang pao packets to the two Malay guys. I was still standing there. Where's mine, I asked jokingly. It's only for their own staff, he said. One of the Malay guy peeped into the packet and counted.

Must be a few notes I presumed, at least four or five, cos you only need to count if it's four and above. I wonder if it's red or blue. Red would be too little. Blue would be more like it.

I was so envious.

Then when I went to the photocopy machine and passed by the IT area. A specky Chinese guy asked if I get any ang pao. I was like, duh, don't you know we are "outsourced", outsiders don't get anything. Of course I didn't say that. I told him we are not under the company therefore we don't get it. Gosh, can't you pick the correct person to ask.. be more sensible.

All employees gets a ang pao for Chinese New Year. It's a Finnish company. Finnish, Chinese, Malay, Indian, Punjabi, Phillipines, Japanese (there might be more that I am not aware of). Everyone gets a ang pao. How cool is that.

(I wonder if the cleaning lady also gets it. I am sensible, I don't ask, I just keep it to myself.)

I was so envious. I still am.

The devil in me says that I deserved one as well, if not more. I was there from the beginning. I was there before all these people came into the picture. I had been working my ass for the project for 3 years, working past my shifts, sacrificing my personal time, getting mad and pissed at the idiots who said stupid things to the customers that ruined the reputation of the project/company, holding on and taking care of the whole operations when all my ex-boss knows is to bullshit and play online games or read e-book/comic. At least I think I deserve something.

Fact remains fact. We are part of them but then we are not one of them. The grass is obviously greener on the other side, of the cubicle partition. They glows.